Q: I have a relative who wants me to wear a specific piece of jewelry on my wedding day that isn’t my style at all- what do I do?
answers:
4 Videos
VIDEO SUMMARY
Just say no nicely. So you’re being offered a piece of jewelry that is meaningful to the person who’s offering it, but might not be as meaningful to you. I have two ideas.
This one is tough, and while they think they’re being very sweet, they’re putting you in a tough situation.
As a people pleaser myself, I totally understand wanting to honor and be super supportive of family members who want to gift you things, especially family heirlooms. I think there’s also this layer of protection that we don’t have to feel pressured to do everything our family wants us to do.
VIDEO SUMMARY
A great way that you could incorporate a family heirloom that maybe you don’t want to necessarily wear on your wedding day is to include it in that beautiful flatlay shot.
So that photographer shot that they get of the shoes and the rings. Maybe there’s a moment and a little spot on that flatlay for this very special piece of jewelry. So that way it’s still a part of your day and your family member still feels and sees that and it feels really special. But you don’t have to necessarily wear it because it may clash with your style.
But I still think it’s important to honor it in a beautiful and respectful way.
VIDEO SUMMARY
If it’s a ring or earrings, you can tie it with a ribbon to your bouquet. Don’t forget to take it off before you throw your bouquet. if it’s a bracelet or a necklace. Maybe you could incorporate it into your hairstyle, either like around your ponytail or under your bun. If it’s large, you can maybe use it as kind of like a brooch style and add it to the groom’s outfit in some way, especially if it’s from his side of the family.
But yeah, typically people will, if they’re not able to draw the line and say like, No, this is not what I see for myself on my wedding day. You can add it into your bouquet or just take photos with it as take it off.
VIDEO SUMMARY
I have two ideas. One is to say, No thank you and you can say No thank you. You just have to do it really, really nicely. Say, Oh, I so appreciate you offering that. That is so kind and generous of you. However, I need to say no, thank you. The fact that you would even offer it is so touching.
I can’t thank you enough. The other option is to take it and use it. But use it how you want. If you don’t want to have it super visible on the wedding day and in all the pictures, maybe wear this piece at the rehearsal dinner or maybe wear this piece if you change your outfit during the reception or just say no nicely.
To So and Florals. That’s my biggest advice for cutting costs.
2 comments
I have been asked this so many times... does the wedding industry inflate prices when they hear it's a wedding?
Here is my honest answer (as a former wedding photographer)... NO. Did I charge more for a wedding than a 50th birthday party or a family portrait session? Yes, absolutely. I charged A LOT more for a wedding.
Was I taking advantage of the emotional sell? Absolutely not.
The main reasons I charged more for a wedding were: the unseen amount of work involved in the 12+ months leading up to the wedding, the skill level needed on the day, the INTENSE pressure to create perfect "portfolio level work" no matter what the reality of the situation- but mostly it is to compensate for the time AFTER the wedding in post production.
Little known fact about wedding photography - the real job is sitting at a computer editing photos. Photographers spend many hours behind the computer carefully selecting and editing photos. They make adjustments, crop, and adjust colors to ensure each image it's best. Don't forget the time it takes for batching, renaming, importing, exporting and uploading the photos and preparing them for delivery.
Do you think this justifies why photographers charge more for weddings than for other types of shoots?
Couldn’t agree more! And on the videography side its an absolute ton of data + editing discipline.
Its a double sided coin- weddings are extremely high pressure but also high reward when we nail it.
Our products (photo video) in particular are the only thing that genuinely will last forever . Having fun and ALSO nailing the product is worth the price of entry and frankly more.