I as a wedding planner, I would say about 75% of the time it is the couples that are paying for us directly because families are maybe paying for the wedding and they are seeking our help to make sure when they’re spending and budgeting for the wedding correctly, because they’ve been given this much for the wedding. But that other 25% who are just tired of hearing from their bride or their daughter complain and moms are like, hey, we need help. I will pay for you specifically to help us out. So that is just like a two fold answer. But majority of the time, it is the couples paying for us as planners.

Who’s paying me. My name is Jean. I’m an event planner in the Philadelphia area. And for weddings, I’m mostly seeing the couple pay me. It’s funny. If it’s a check, it might be from the parents, but if it’s Venmo, it’s from the couple, so and but most often it is venmo, and most often it is from the couple. So unless they offer the details of who’s paying for what and how they’re working their finances, I don’t ask for my own payment or our vendor team. But my assumption is that the couple is paying for things and then maybe their families are reimbursing them for some expenses. But I’m seeing the couple. Thanks.

One month before the wedding and that is the time that you need to make sure that your family and friends are in the know. A lot of time people forget to do things during this month that can help make the day go smoother and keep you less stressed. So some things I want to make sure that you have not forgotten. Have you told which family members are actually sitting on that first and second row? Have you talk to your efficient about what to say at the very end of the ceremony to get your guest to go to cocktail hour? Do you have a cake cutter? What about a cake stand? Did you pack extra batteries? Will there actually be a guest book? If so, are there pins? There are certain things that you need to do in this one month. Literally break down your wedding and break down the elements. If you have a cake, like, what do I need for this cake? I need a cake stand. I need a cake cutter. Okay, next for the ceremony. What do I need for the ceremony? I have a flower girl. Does the flower girl have a basket? Does the flower girl actually have flowers? Who is holding the ring? Oh, have I got my rings clean? Everything should kind of be a spider web. You start with one category of your wedding and spider web it out. But most importantly, did you bring the marriage license? Do you have it? Did you apply for it? Don’t forget that.

Hot Take. It’s you. hi friends. I’m Vanessa Rose from the papery, here to tell you that the most difficult part about your wedding is you and the timeline you think you’re going to follow. Everything on your wedding day takes twice as long. I’m going to say that again. Twice as long as you think it does. Twice as long as it takes you on a regular day like today. When you are looking at your wedding day timeline, please be realistic when you’re planning it out. And please speak to the professionals on your wedding team. Or better yet, get a day of coordinator to walk you through this hair and makeup. You need to plan buffers in between each person. Getting beauty services to account for bathroom breaks, getting a phone call, not being ready at the very moment they need to sit in a chair. Give yourself ample time through that bridal morning to make sure that beauty flows effortlessly when you stack it up, unrealistically and cram it all together because you don’t want to sit in a chair at seven in the morning. You are your own worst enemy. Moving, getting in and out of vehicles, moving from location to location, traveling around your venue property. It all takes longer than you think it does. You’re also moving more people in outfits they don’t wear every day, in shoes they may have never worn before. Just stop the insanity. Take a step back, think about the day and add more time. If that means you need to push cocktail, if that means you need to start beauty earlier, do whatever you need to do to give yourself breathing room in your timeline. And then you won’t become your worst enemy and the most difficult part of your day. Keep in mind this also applies to photography. Please don’t plan 17 family shots in a 20 minutes window. Good luck.

I would have to say from my perspective as a planner, the most difficult time for couples is 30 minutes before the wedding, and that is during that hurry up and wait time because you have hurried up and gotten your dress, got makeup done, gotten to the venue, hurried up and ate, hurry up and did all these photos and now you’re just waiting? You are waiting for guests to arrive. You’re awaiting until you’re about to go down the aisle. And nervousness, anxiety, all those things set in 30 minutes before the grooms are like, am I making the right decision, bro, do you have the rings? Brides are like, Did I do this? Did I forget this? Did I remember this? Are guests having a good time? Are they sitting where they’re supposed to sit? So that becomes the most difficult time. What I would say to you is, during that waiting period, relax. Let go and release. What I mean is relax and be in the moment. Let go of the worries of things didn’t get done. Release whatever anxiety and stressors you have and be in the moment and realize what you’re about to do. You’re about to walk down the aisle to meet your favorite person. And during that 30 minutes of high anxiety, be confident and confide in I am making the right decisions. It’s go time.

Oh, my gosh, this one is going to get me in trouble….

But I’m just so over the burlap the Mason jars the whole, like, rustic eucalyptus vibes from a wedding planner’s perspective.

Can we please get rid of all of the wedding dresses that no one can walk in?

There is one wedding tradition I would love to see. Get the ax it’s the old school wedding corsage.

The one that needs to get eliminated is QR codes on your wedding stationery.

Can I get a big C ya never On the bride being handed over to the groom by her dad.

This little trend is annoying.

The wedding tradition that I wish would go away forever is sparkler exits.

Now give it up for your maid of honor and best man… can we not?

The new ish trend for weddings that I want to go away forever is bridesmaid first looks.

Hey, hey, hey a goodbye. That’s what I wish would happened to the Garter toss.

It’s uncomfortable for 95% of the people there. Some grooms don’t know how to dance, and it just becomes weird. Some brides are like, My parents are looking. You’re going up my dress. Let’s get rid of the garter toss.

It makes sense with the groom or even with the bride’s dad, but the bridesmaids are there to help you get ready. What ends up happening is you totally get some faces of your bridesmaids, like, Oh, my God. But like, most of them are faking it because they know what you look like. They’ve already seen your hair. They may have helped you pick up the dress just let them be in the moment and let it happen.

I am so, so, so. Over wedding party introduction, they take wasted time. That’s not necessary to line everybody up and the time it takes to introduce each couple. They’re cringey they’re awkward, and nobody’s planned it. Not to mention the couple doesn’t even get to watch what’s happening half the time. Please, let’s just stop doing wedding party introductions altogether.

Most of the amazing sparkler exit photos that you see are completely staged. They’re not actually an exit because let’s be honest, if you wait until the end of the night after you and all of your guests have been enjoying your signature cocktails, do you really want to make people responsible for flammable objects? No, no, we do not. No we should not. Sparkler exits need to go away.

Let the couples, kiss whenever they want. Don’t be forcing them to be kissing every few minutes. And that’s my little annoying trend that I would like to see you go away. It’s just. It just annoying.

Now, I know traditionally when we run our rehearsals were supposed to put the bride’s hand into her father’s and have him hand her over to her groom where she’s then brought to the altar. But it’s 2023, y’all. We are not living in a day and age where anybody is anyone property. We’re not exchanging dowry. We’re bringing villages together here. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had a bride looked at. It’s like, Excuse me. What? We are big girls. We are walking into this relationship of our own free will and we do not need to be handed off by our daddies to our groom, though if I have one trend to say it’s not a go, it’s the bride handoff.

When think of QR codes, I think of restaurants, I think of bars, I think of alcohol menus. They do not belong on your wedding stationery. Why would you have your grandma pick up her phone and try and scan a QR code RSVP? There’s so many other ways that you can get everybody to RSVP online. It’s just not necessary. If you’re looking for a way to eliminate stuff and save a buck, ask us. We can help you with that. The QR codes and your wedding stationery, they just do not belong together. 

The old school wedding corsage. I mean, whether you’re having people pin it to their gown or wear it on their wrist, allocate that money elsewhere. And trust me, the women in your family will thank you for not obligating them to wear 20 lbs of ribbon as they walk down the aisle for your ceremony.

Get rid of all of the wedding dresses that no one can walk in. The brides don’t like them. The bridesmaids don’t like them. Photographers hate them because they have to edit all the dirt and all the things off of them. But all these brides keep buying these dresses that are gorgeous and they spend all this money on and then they have to take 30 minutes out of their wedding day and bustle them, fix them up, stain remove them. All this stuff they can’t see their cute shoes they bought. If I had to pick something to get rid of the long dresses that no one can walk in.

it’s time to just move on from rustic eucalyptus vibes 20 years from now, when you look back at your photos, they’re going to just look outdated. I’m all for timeless and romantic. Let’s make sure you love your photos forever and let’s move on.

So hands down, the biggest mistake that I see couples making with wedding photography is hiring a friend to do it. I know everyone has a friend that’s a photographer or says they’re a photographer, but I think even if you’re hiring a friend who might be an incredible photographer, I would highly, highly recommend not doing this. You know, I had a couple friends, they hired their friend, you. She said she give them a good deal, but when they got the photos, they were actually displeased with them. And it added a lot of tension in the friendship. Like you trusted your friend to photograph your wedding day and then your friend kind of screwed it up or didn’t deliver what you were hoping for. Honestly, it’s just better to hire a professional and it’s going to leave you a lot happier at the end of the experience and they don’t do a good job. You can leave them a nasty review on Yelp or whatever. Can’t do that with a friend.