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ALL TOPICS | Planning Questions

Q: How do I invite only certain kids to my wedding?

VIDEO SUMMARY

Hey there. I’m about to unpack our kids luggage from our vacation. But before I do, let’s talk kids at the wedding. And specifically for those of you who don’t generally want kids at the wedding, but there are a select few that you do, we oftentimes get asked, how do you handle that? And to be super frank and clear here, we like to empower our couples to have the wedding that they desire and not fall to the pressure of their friends and family. So my biggest advice to you is to simply have the wedding that you want. If you do not want kids there, there are kind ways of saying something along the lines of we want our guests to be present and really get to let loose. So we are having an adults only reception is a kind way of saying that now, the way to invite those particular kids that you do want there is all really handled through your RSVPs and where you allow plus ones and where you don’t. So if you specifically address your invitation to John and Jane Smith, then that should tell them that they are not allowed to have kits. They can simply RSVP for only two. Especially if you are doing your RSVPs through your website, you can control how many people they can RSVP for. Now oftentimes that same John and Jane Smith are going to text you or call you and ask, can we bring our children? I always say throw your planner under the bus and say something along the lines of we have a very tight guest count and we’re only asking that adults come. You could also say our planner has advised us to have an adults only party. You could say our venue capacity is very tight and that we are asking that it be adults only. Or you can go back to we really want to empower our guests and have a reception that allows them to let loose and have a great time. So we’re asking that it be adults only. Now, for your nieces or nephews, your ring, bears, flower girls, family that’s traveling, that you know, they have kids and you’re okay with them coming on their RSVP, you can put the Smith family and allow for three, four, five RSVPs to be input into your website or to come back on your RSVP cards. So I really do believe that your RSVPs and the amount that you allow for them with plus ones is the best way to control how many people are RSVPing. But if you need to put a note on your website or on your details card, simply just saying that we really want to have a great party and allow for you to have a break from your kids, let loose and have fun. We are asking that this is an adult only reception.

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2 comments

    Robin Sloan, The Uncorked ProjectVerifiedRobin Sloan, The Uncorked Project

    I have been asked this so many times... does the wedding industry inflate prices when they hear it's a wedding?

    Here is my honest answer (as a former wedding photographer)... NO. Did I charge more for a wedding than a 50th birthday party or a family portrait session? Yes, absolutely. I charged A LOT more for a wedding.

    Was I taking advantage of the emotional sell? Absolutely not.

    The main reasons I charged more for a wedding were: the unseen amount of work involved in the 12+ months leading up to the wedding, the skill level needed on the day, the INTENSE pressure to create perfect "portfolio level work" no matter what the reality of the situation- but mostly it is to compensate for the time AFTER the wedding in post production.

    Little known fact about wedding photography - the real job is sitting at a computer editing photos. Photographers spend many hours behind the computer carefully selecting and editing photos. They make adjustments, crop, and adjust colors to ensure each image it's best. Don't forget the time it takes for batching, renaming, importing, exporting and uploading the photos and preparing them for delivery.

    Do you think this justifies why photographers charge more for weddings than for other types of shoots?

    AvatarCody Pettengill

    Couldn’t agree more! And on the videography side its an absolute ton of data + editing discipline.

    Its a double sided coin- weddings are extremely high pressure but also high reward when we nail it.

    Our products (photo video) in particular are the only thing that genuinely will last forever . Having fun and ALSO nailing the product is worth the price of entry and frankly more.

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