All right, let’s talk wedding ushers. I’m a wedding officiant, so my role when I deal with wedding ushers is they usually help seat the guests when walking down the aisle, which is really nice. So some older folks, they expect that it’s nice to have them there to offer directions to where the restroom is, to help folks as needed. I would say limit the number of ushers that you have. One or two is plenty, especially if you’ve got, like, family members where you don’t really know what to do with them, but you need to give them a role. Being an usher is great. However, what I would say is let’s not put the rules down where they’re going to seat every single guest, they’re just going to give directions on, like here. The ceremony is this way. Please seat yourself except for the first row where immediate family is sitting, because when your ushers seat every single guest, it slows down folks getting to their seats and can back up your whole entire ceremony timeline, which happens all the time. So just adjust the way that your ushers are working for you. Think of them as your extended family or your friends who you didn’t really have a role for, but now you’ve put them in the role and you’re going to give them a job. And their job is to get to the ceremony site early to help seat guests and give them directions. So we’re only seating older folks who may need an extra arm. Give directions to the bathroom and give directions to the aisle way. Which seats are reserved, which ones aren’t. Give them a list of specific people that you want sat in the front row and say, oh, even a picture if you have one, so they know who those folks are. Oh, Aunt Martha. So glad you’re here. You’re seated in the front row. Let me show you where that is, that type of role. Otherwise, they’re just kind of giving general directions. Again, the ceremony is displayed. Please seat yourself.

Ushers, I think, are a courtesy position. And now this could be like a location. We’re down in Florida, so typically everything is a little bit more laid back in Florida. So when we see ushers, it’s usually because you had someone that didn’t make the cut for the bridal party, but they still need something to do. So if that’s the case, then, I mean, by all means do that. But if you feel the need that you have to have one or they’re required to do a certain job, I don’t really think that they’re necessary in any way, shape or form. And that’s also because traditionally we’ve gotten away from the bride sits on this side and the groom side sits on this side, and people just can kind of sit wherever that was ultimately what they were meant to do. Right now, if you need someone specifically to hand out programs, hand out fans, hand out bottles of water, and you don’t have a coordinator that’s going to take care of those things, then yes, maybe having an usher has some purpose to it, but other than that, I don’t really see the need. Unless you’re just trying to fill a spot or make someone feel better.

Are ushers really needed on your wedding day? Not really. I think ushers are most helpful for two reasons. One is that you want to honor them. There are certain people that you want to have a special role in your wedding beyond a regular guest, but not quite at the wedding party level. And you want them to feel special and included. And so you make them an usher. So I think that is the best reason to use ushers. The second reason is if people actually need to be ushered to their seats, maybe it’s a grandparent or a great grandparent. Maybe it’s someone who has a disability, is in a wheelchair, needs an aisle seat for some reason. And then I think it is good to have an usher who has those people identified and is ready to help. Ushers also hand out programs, wedding programs or service booklets, but people can also help themselves. So if you’re not inclined to have ushers, if there’s not people that you need to take care of in that way, by honoring them or by assisting others, I really don’t think you need them.

No, you do not need ushers for your wedding day. There’s a lot of logistics with it. And if you have people that you want to be in the wedding but you don’t want them to be in the wedding, you could do that. But what an usher does is they help seat people. So if you have a couple, a man and a woman, the usher would take the woman’s arm and walk her to her seat and the man would follow. So it’s really actually an awkward situation, to be honest. So, no, you do not need ushers. They’re just not necessary. It’s a more formal way of doing it. But most people do not have ushers anymore.

I do not think ushers are necessary. I certainly wouldn’t pay for them or put a lot of effort into organizing them. There aren’t many ceremonies now that I’ve seen that force the bride or grooms families or to sit on certain sides of the ceremony. Usually, if any of my clients have had ushers, it’s just some of the groomsmen kind of stand out there. But it’s really only helpful if there are a lot of elderly people that truly may need, like, physical assistance getting to their seat. But those types of people usually are not driving themselves. Maybe they arrived with a family member. Or if it’s your grandma, then your aunt or uncle can be helping her get to her seat. If there are certain seats that you want specific people to sit in, then you can just put reserve signs on them. So, like, you want your parents in the front row if you really want to go one step further and dictate exactly who sits in what seats. I did that for my ceremony primarily because my parents were divorced and I wanted to make sure they did not accidentally end up having to sit next to each other. I just got little place cards that you would normally see on a reception table, and I sat them on the seats that I wanted them all to sit in. Ceremony.